Saturday, April 27, 2013

Embarassment from dawn til dusk

Every so often, I have a day where I just embarrass myself more frequently than usual [I am the klutziest of klutzes].  Today was one of those days where every chair seemed to jump out at me, every liquid magically flew out of its container, and every slippery spot on the floor pulled me down with it. For your entertainment purposes, I have included a chronological list of the embarrassing things that have happened to me today as well as some fabulous pictures from my more awkward of years. Enjoy!

  • Last night, I fell asleep watching full seasons of Parks and Recreation on Hulu. Nothing's worse than waking up to be reminded of your poor life choices. 
  • I spent all morning until I had to work [at 4 p.m.] in the same clothes I slept in. My dad and sister made faces of disgust every time they walked by. I was really feeling the love this morning.
  • I posted a video to Vine [a social networking site, similar to Instagram, but shows videos instead of still images] forgetting that I look like a hobo death in the morning. Sorry, followers, for scaring you so early in the day. Please forgive my jew-fro and lack of makeup.
  • At work, I messed up a bunch really simple orders and pissed several people off. Way. To. Go. 
  • While cleaning out the coffee dispensers, the water started splattering out of the faucet and I spilled boiling hot water all over myself and the ground. I had tiny burns all over my arms for a couple hours until they healed. 
  • I left a menu sitting on the train set, so when the train came by, it derailed [surprise, surprise] and my manager almost got electrecuted by fixing it.
  • I got hit with swinging kitchen door twice. Not a big deal, plus it gave my customers a chuckle. 
  • Every Saturday, we carry the giant ice cream tubs into the deep freezer. My tiny arms and lack of upper body strength allows for me to only carry one tub at a time. After five trips across the restaurant, I'm pretty sure my coworkers and customers were entertained. 
  • A [pretty attractive] guy came in to pick up a to-go order and he was wearing a full tuxedo [minus the jacket, if you cared] so I asked what prom he was going to. He was on his way to work at the nearby banquet hall, busing tables. I am seriously the worst. 
  • After work, I came home and inhaled an entire container of orange chicken. Not embarrassing, just absolutely disgusting. 
Could I be any more 2008? I think not. 

In a fat suit and boy wig for Willy Wonka, my seventh grade school musical. Yes, I performed in front of peers in this attire. I still cringe thinking about it. 

WHY. I am happy my immature humor days are behind me.
No, past self, "planking" was never cool. Ever. 

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