Sunday, April 27, 2014

On my way up

I hate posting anything sad or negative on social media. I hate seeing myself in such a dark place let alone broadcasted for everyone to see. So for that reason, I haven't blogged in over a month.

But here I am. These past few weeks have felt like years, but somehow I muddled through. The world was crumbling around me and I felt trapped in my own head. The yearbook was going down the toilet, a day didn't go by where I wasn't fighting with my parents, and I lost interest in anything that I once found enjoyable. I stopped eating, cried myself to sleep, and had trouble focusing because the war inside my head was too loud. I kept a happy facade, but inside I felt desolate. I was at my lowest point and I lost my boyfriend, my faith, and my love for myself. I grew 100 years older.

But when I hit rock bottom, I learned that I could only go up from there.

After a little bit of help from an amazing support system, I got back on my feet and started my long stretch toward the girl I used to be.

I now appreciate how the smallest things are what makes life worth living. 
Taking long car rides with my sisters with the top down and The Vaccines blaring. 
Indulging in oversized Reese's peanut butter cups. 
Devouring an entire book in a day. 
Hugging someone you love. 
Traveling to the most amazing city [my future home] and taking every second in. 
Planning a graduation party.
Sharing laughs and tears and hugs with your former English teacher.
Drinking coffee. 
Watching the sunrise.
Having a sleepover. 
Being genuinely happy when things goes your way and laughing at the situation when things don't. [because no matter what, everything turns out just fine]