Do you ever feel like you are stuck in a rut?
Recently, I've felt like I've been stuck in the deepest, muddiest, stickiest rut one can imagine.
I wake up every morning with next to no motivation to go to school. I feel too misanthropic for my own good. It often seems like the majority of the people in my school have opinions on feminism that clash with mine, even though I strongly stand my moral ground. So sometimes I speak out.
When I do, I feel like I often come across as defensive, condescending, or "too outspoken." It's times like these where I feel like Public Enemy for having my own opinions, for defending things I truly care about. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but one of my biggest fears is burning bridges with people I genuinely like. When those friends of mine hold views that I see as wrong, it makes me upset and the cycle starts over.
I don't know what to do about my problem. Do I sit down, shut up, and let everyone else carry on with their misogynistic, close-minded ways? Or do I speak up and defend myself, taking the backlash with a grain of salt?
It seems that either course of action I take, I'm left crying myself to sleep, questioning my self-worth, wondering if this was how the greatest activists in history felt in their teenage years. I dread going to school to face insulting and sexist attitudes. I dream of a day where I won't have to be the odd one out for believing in true equality. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but when my peers' actions and words make me question the morality of my generation, I feel stuck again. Stuck in a big 'ol rut.
If you ever feel the same way or want to talk to me about feminism [or want to talk to me about anything at all] feel free to contact me. I thrive on discussion and education and I totally want to start some sort of virtual "club" about gender equality. Let me know if you are interested or if you just want to talk in general.