Moving Up, Moving Out, Moving On

Today I finished up my last day of my junior year. I can officially be considered a senior now, I guess, which is strange to say. I did not want to make this post to be sappy or emotional. I want to provide a reminder to my future self of what this year was like. 

In 2013, my classes were like this:

• Precalc was okay first semester, but after my teacher left for another school district, she was replaced by the most unqualified person possible. I struggled. 
• Publications was life changing and I'll probably blog about it later.
• Spanish was enriching and fun and educational and I am now confident in the language. Too bad the AP program was cut and my teacher is moving to Argentina with her new husband to open a bed-and-breakfast. [She invited us to visit at any time].
• I aided for my Spanish II teacher who told me more about her divorce, illnesses, and financial state that I cared to know. She was a very sweet but very troubled woman. 
• My AP English class was beyond amazing. I loved my teacher and everything about the class. I became a mature writer and analytical reader. I made a good connection with the teacher, which helped. She reminds me of someone I would want to be like in the future. We like the same movies, coffee, and even iPhone apps. She and I have had some awesome discussions. We even read with the same mindset. She, along with my yearbook advisers, is one of those underpaid, overworked, greatly appreciated teachers who can change lives. 
• My ACP Chemistry class was a bore. It was one of those classes that no matter hard I worked, I never got above the A-, B+ range. Frustrating to say the least. I was pretty disinterested, but studied super hard for my grade. It taught me work ethic and about nothing else. Organic chemistry has to be my own personal hell. 
• Government was one of the easiest classes ever, and had the potential to be terrible. I knew not one person, was the only junior [in a class of seniors], and had no real interest in the class. My teacher [married to the AP English teacher I worshipped] saw my boredom as well as my intelligence, and urged me to take the AP test since the AP course wouldn't fit in my schedule. He helped me prepare, which was a great experience. It ended up being one of my favorite classes. 

My after-school activities were like this:

• I was a waitress at Tyler's Tender and it was fun and cute and sometimes annoying
• I was in Best Buddies, where I paired up with Robin, a girl with down syndrome, to be friends and hang out. It was a blast. 
• I was also involved with theater, National Honors Society, Junior Class Cabinet, Academic Letterwinners, Student Council, and all of the other college application necessities 
• I took three dance classes and actually improved quite a bit
• I did hot yoga and have felt closer to death than ever before

My social life was like this:

• I made almost an entire new set of friends from the yearbook staff
• I fell hard for a boy but he didn't like me back quite as much
• I lost a best friend
• I acted like an actual teenager once
• I made more friends outside of school [work, dance, etc.]
• I was bullied for the first time in my high school career
• I made friends with mostly seniors who are all leaving me 
• I loved the way things turned out

that is all. peace out 2012-2013 school year, it's been real

xxx

The Final [exam] Days

Two more days. Two days of finals and good-byes and emotions and stress and crowded hallways until I can officially call myself a senior. Eerie, right? I don't like it. Most kids are itching to get out of school, but for me, I am hesitant. First of all, I am scared out of my mind for my final exams. My grades are nowhere near they should be [I am notorious for setting high expectations and then failing to reach them], I have yet to write my thank you notes to my teachers [nerdy, whatever], and I just don't want to be a senior. 
There is SO MUCH to do in these next two days of school, and for me, these next couple days feel like a cliff. Every hour until the last day seems to push me closer and closer to the edge. Once I am pushed off the cliff [Tuesday at 2:09] I feel like I will fall into a scary abyss of college applications, summer school, waitressing, and homework for the next 52 days. 
Another reason I am dreading the end of school is how much I will miss my classes and teachers. That sounds awfully nerdy, so call me what you want, but this year I have had some of the nicest, most influential teachers to date. I will probably make a post further in depth, but I just don't know if next year will compare. I have built fabulous relationships with my teachers, which I will miss quite a bit.
As they say, when doors shut, others open, which is the mentality I will try keeping this week.
xxx

conquer finals the Sophisticated way

I like to think of myself as a seasoned student, especially when it comes to finals. I am a pretty bad test taker, so getting as much preparation as possible is crucial for me to do well. In order to prepare, I have tried everything. Here is what works [for me]:

• MAKE LISTS. Seriously. Physically crossing tasks off a list will make you feel 100x better and productive. If you want to really to it the Samantha way, write down a timed schedule next to your list as follow as planned. It will force you to be productive.
• Paint your nails. This sounds petty and dumb, but taking a little mani break will calm you and give you some colorful motivation to continue on. 
• Study in chunks. Study in 20-50 minute increments and take a 5-10 minute break in between. Eat nuts, fruit, and chocolate [in moderation] to keep you focused!
• Listen to Mozart. Yes, I am lame, but it helps. I have a Mozart Spotify playlist specifically for this purpose. It is calming but not enough to put you to sleep. It actually helps, I don't know why. 
• Change up your location! I rotate from my room to my library to my kitchen and it helps me from getting bored or distracted. 
• Study with friends. There is strength in numbers, and it helps to get someone else's perspective or insight to something you may not understand as well. Also, it can result in an impromptu pizza party and who doesn't love that? 
• Take a deep breath. Instead of dwelling on your stress, just calm down and take it slowly. 
• Take a walk. Fresh air does well for the mind, spirit, and body. 
• Build on what you already know. If you already have made flashcards, use them! Go back through old material and try to jog your memory. 
• Make little stories or acronyms to memorize groups of terms. The stranger they are, the easier you will remember them.

Good luck!

xxx

My sister and I made this timed and planned study list for midterms. We both did really well! You can too!

A most rewarding Friday night

Coats were strewn over tables decorated with colorful tablecloths and flowers. Corsages matched boutonnieres and long, flowing dresses were the main attraction. A buffet table was overflowing with catered food and a DJ blasted the latest tracks. No, we were not at a formal Lake Central dance. We were at the Best Buddies Annual Non-Prom, a dance sponsored by the club I happen to be an officer of. The club's purpose is to bring together mentally disabled students and normally functioning ones, creating friendships that may have never surfaced before. The dance also served as a mixer between school districts, as we had about 15 Best Buddies members from a nearby school come to join in on the fun. The program is international, and there are chapters almost everywhere. The dance was a true success. 
I also had a really nice time talking to the sponsor [my English teacher] at the dance. She is by far one of my favorite teachers I have ever had. On the walks to and from her classroom to retrieve decorations, food, etc, we chatted about college and the future and life and The Great Gatsby and existentialism. It was fabulous. 
After the dance, me and one of my best friends snuck five boxes of candy into The Great Gatsby movie [an amazing movie, by the way] and had a great time. Maybe my Friday night was not the most normal of nights, but I felt like a better person and a happier kid at the same time. 
xxx

Bridget, Taylor [Bridget's Buddy] and I at Best Buddies Prom

slowing it down

AP testing is over, the end is near, and things are slowing down. In a way, it's nice because I finally am making time to do the things I want to do. Of course I'm preparing for finals, but I feel tranquil. Maybe it's the calm before the storm. Either way, I love being able to do things for [I can't believe I can finally say this] pleasure. 

I can finally:

• go to yoga in the middle of the week 
• read for pleasure
• design things that aren't related to school [grad party invites, yearbook theme idea samples]
• hang out with my friends [study parties don't count]
• get ahead on my schoolwork that I actually like
• begin preparing for summer life
• buy concert tickets
• plan road trips 
• blog;)

xxx

Acting our own age

Me and one of my best friends are both very mature for our ages. For example, she was house sitting for our school guidance counselor this week. She slept over at the house, took care of the dog, and made sure garbage was taken out, mail was taken in, and made sure the house was secure. A pretty mature job, right? She was lonely and bored, so I came over to the house to do homework and hang out. Yes, we were planning on doing homework after the three hour AP Government exam we took today. Turns out, we were sick of sitting around and doing homework, so we decided to act like normal teenage girls [on a school night]. That's what we are supposed to do, right? 

We drove to Panera bread, visited our friend when she was on break at work, and walked over to Chipotle to grab dinner. We talked and ate and caught up. It was a blast. We ordered the exact same thing and found out how much more alike we are than we had thought. We were so slap happy overtired so everything seemed funny. We decided to drive over to [a very sketchy] Dairy Belle, an outdoor ice cream shack for dessert, regardless of the fact that we were already bloated and sick from our gigantic burrito bowls. We played loud music and rolled the windows down. We sang loudly and had a real "teenager" experience. We ordered the same sprinkle dipped cone [typical] and sat outside in the 90 degree weather to watch the low-riding gangster cars and loud, creepy motorcycles zoom past. I counted 6 winks from strange men. We left soon after. 

I just couldn't be happier with the friends I have now. The people I am friends with now are not those I was friends with at the beginning of the year, but I finally am sure that it is for the better. Today, Liz and I acted like teenagers. And it was great.
xxx 

It's the end of the year as we know it

The end is near and I can already see senioritis hitting its deadly phase. Most of my classes are with seniors, and I find it hilarious to watch their mannerisms. All seniors, from my 4.5 GPA best friend to the laziest of lazy kids who are failing my regular Government class, are starting to feel the itch to get out of high school.
I have observed some signs that the end is near in these past couple weeks:

• Everyone is asleep. I literally have walked past classrooms full of seniors who are [I'm pretty sure] have reached REM and have sunk into a deep, snore-filled slumber. 
• Even the smart cheat. I see extremely intelligent students sharing homework and getting help online, the mannerisms of the typical lazy student. 
• People are talking more about Senior Banquet than finals. It's funny to see the sophomores stressing about finals and the seniors stressing about what costume they will wear or what award they might receive.
• Shorts are shorter, arms are more bare, and no one seems to care. Dress code has become completely obsolete. What does a detention matter to a kid who is basically on his or her way to college?
• Teachers have stopped teaching. At least some of them. I have heard of classes that have no lesson plan for the next 12 days. None. 
• Even juniors have been catching the disease. Junioritis is a thing. I promise. 

xxx

Mother's Day

I want to dedicate this post to mothers. Not just my mother [a very amazing, inspiring, hardworking, gorgeous woman] but to all mothers. Mothers who carry pounds of weight with them for nine months. Mothers who sacrifice their clean clothes, nice hair, sleep, and body shape to raise children who will fight with them, scream at them, disrespect them, but learn to love them after they are mature enough to understand. Mothers who get up in the wee hours of the morning to tend to a baby or pack a lunch or make breakfast or do work before their children have opened their eyes. Mothers who work a job and still make time to raise a family. Mothers who are their to give a back massage when you can't fall asleep or drive to pick you up at 4 am from a sleepover when you get scared or upset. Mothers who braid your hair, pack your backpack, and leave little notes on your napkin in your lunch. Thank you to mothers who love unconditionally. Or as my mother would say, to the moon and back. 
xxx

My amazing, gorgeous mother and I 

the nonexistent fountain of youth

My grandparents are in town this weekend for Mother's Day, which is a great time for everyone. It means brunch and specialty chocolates and makeup samples. It means hugs and great conversation and the sharing of stories from years past. It also serves as a constant reminder of the aging process and how sad it is to see someone you know and love become older and less capable. I have lost several relatives to dementia, and helplessly seeing a loved one slip away mentally is the hardest thing I have yet to do. Neither of the grandparents that are here have a mental disease like that, but my grandfather is physically losing it and it is plain to see. He dropped the same handful of trail mix three times, all over the ground. He no longer can walk up stairs [his legs are immobile, and he drags them behind him with a walker or cane]. He is incapable of getting in and out of my mom's tall SUV or my dad's low riding sports cars. They stay in a handicap accessible hotel instead of our house. I know it is hard on my dad, who is slowly switching roles with his dad as a caretaker, protector, and a guide. Signs of aging are scary, and remind me every day to live life to its fullest while you can. Instead of continuing my cramming for my AP test [I took English today, Gov is Tuesday], I sat and talked with my grandparents about school and work and life. It was fantastic. The fountain of youth is nonexistent, so let loose a little bit. Appreciate your elders. Value family.
xxx

the two most amazing women in my life, my grandmother and mother

tonight marks the start

Tonight marked the beginning of the end of my high school career. At my journalism banquet, the advisers announced which positions would be held by who, and I was chosen to be Editor-in-Chief of the yearbook [a huge honor]. Ever since joining Publications at the beginning of the year, I knew this was the job I would want. It involves creativity, leadership, and a strong interest in the field. I am on cloud nine. After being unable to form clear sentences to my advisers, I just grinned and grinned and grinned. Nothing can wipe the smile off my face. Not my AP tests tomorrow and Tuesday, not mean comments from rude girls at school, not even the rainy weather. I am ecstatic. I cannot wait to prove myself as an editor and create a beautiful book. My senior year is already looking great.

xxx